Denver Children's Advocacy Center

No Summer Vacation for Child Abuse and Neglect

2011-07-05T15:19:00.000-07:00

By Gizane Indart

Executive Director

For many children, summer is the time to enjoy long, lazy days. Summer is freedom from school and homework. Summer is family vacations. Summer is fun and laughter. Summer is swimming pools, hot dogs, ice cream, and watermelon. Summer is play.

For other children—too many children—summer is no different than the rest of the year. Actually, summer is much, much worse. School provides protection for children at high- risk for abuse, and healthy stimulation for kids who are neglected at home.

Children whose parents neglect them often spend their summers in isolation. They can become bored and lethargic, or in search of any kind of stimulation they may join forces with other neglected kids and engage in dangerous and destructive behavior.

Child victims of sexual abuse have no protection during the summer. They are at the mercy of their abusers who know that no one will come to check on why the child isn’t in school.

Studies indicate that while the rate of abuse is consistent year-round—abuse never takes a vacation—the rate of reporting drops during the summer because children have no access to teachers and other professionals with a legal duty to report their suspicions.

Every day at DCAC, we work tirelessly in outreach, prevention, education and interventions so that our efforts remain constant, irrespective of the season.

This summer, please don’t make a suffering child wait until September. If you suspect that a child in your neighborhood is being abused or neglected, please take action so that the child can receive help immediately and begin to heal.

All you have to do is call the Denver Crisis Hotline at 720-944-3000. All calls are confidential. Please don’t hesitate—a child’s life may depend upon it.

Common signs of child abuse:

Has unexplained burns, bites, bruises, broken bones or black eyes
Seems frightened of parents and protests or cries when it is time to go home
Shrinks at the approach of adults
Has poor relationship with other children
Verbally abuses other children
Exhibits irrational fears
Is hyper vigilant
Daydreams excessively
Has eating problems
Exhibits extremely low self-esteem
Constantly over-active

Common signs of child neglect:

Is dirty or has severe body odor
Lacks needed medical or dental care
Lacks sufficient clothing for weather
Delays in speech
Is excessively shy or demanding of attention
Begs or steals food or money
States there is no one at home to provide care
Is easily distracted and seems nervous

Source: Prevent Child Abuse America

“Doing the Heavy Lifting” for Abused Kids in Colorado

2011-05-26T07:37:00.000-07:00

by Scott Finlay, Director of Development & Communications Denver Children’s Advocacy Center

Devin Burns delivers a check for $1500 to DCAC.

Devin Burns of Denver Fitness Boot Camp wanted to help kids. He had attended our Gala back in October and was moved by the stories that were shared at that event. He came up with a brilliant way to engage his clients in his fitness boot camp, raise awareness about DCAC and the epidemic of childhood sexual abuse in Colorado AND raise $1500 in the process!

He solicited his “Boot Campers” to vote for three different exercises. Each exercise would consist of 5 reps at $1 each, totaling $15 per person. “My Boot Campers voted for 100 pound dumbbell shoulder presses, 100 pound bicep curls and one-arm push-ups, so I did all of them and had them donate $15 each,” said Devin.

What’s more, he actually taped his completion of the exercises and posted it on YouTube so he would have proof for his boot campers. It is truly amazing to watch! Check it out! You've got to see it to believe it.

“It was a pleasure meeting you," said Devin, "and I am extremely thankful that I was able to help such a great cause.”

Thank YOU, Devin! We are grateful for your generosity and good spirit.

"Mysterious Skin" - A Difficult Look at the Complexities of Abuse

2011-05-13T13:55:00.000-07:00

Scott Heim
Author of Mysterious Skin

(Soundbyte from Mysterious Skin)
NEIL: What happened that summer took a huge part of me. No one ever made me feel that way before or since. I was special.

Unidentified Woman: Neil, you were eight years old.

NEIL: Yeah, but he really loved me. I mean, there were other kids sometimes, but I was his prize.

To many, this type of confession from an abuse survivor is counter-intuitive and even scary. Who doesn't want to feel like a "prize?" But, as all thereapists who deal with abused children will testify, this is a very common sentiment that victims must face and work through.

Mysterious Skin (by Scott Heim) was first published in 1995 and is somewhat autobiograhpical. It chronicles the lives of two teenage boys who are dealing in very differing ways with the abuse that they both suffered at the hands of their little league baseball coach. After being adapted into a play, it was made into a film by the same title and directed by Gregg Araki in 2005.

In this compelling interview NPR, both Heim and Araki share how complex the issue of child abuse can be; especially when the child takes on the guilt and self-loathing that often plagues them as a result of the violence they have experienced.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE INTERVIEW

Comcast Cares Day at DCAC - Transformative

2011-05-03T10:17:00.000-07:00

by Scott Finlay

Director of Development & Communications

Over 50 volunteers from Comcast and the community gathered on Saturday, April 30th to help out and make a difference on the DCAC "Kid's Campus." What happened was nothing short of extraordinary!

Projects for the day included:

Building a new privacy fence on the south side of the 2139 parking lot
Power washing the existing fences around the property
Staining all of the fences
Adding anti-slip tread to existing stairs and walkways for safety
Adding new Trex stairs to the front of the 2149 house
Installing childproof devices on cabinets in both houses
Shampooing the carpets in the 2149 house
Cleaning the furniture in the 2149 house
Replacing lightbulbs
Re-finishing the play table in the waiting room at the 2149 house
Painting a border of "helping hands" around the doors in the waiting room of the 2149 house
Installing paving stones on the south side emergency exit of the 2139 house

WHAT a day! It was amazing. THANK YOU, Comcast for your incredible generosity and hard work. Special thanks to Crystal Stanley for her TIRELESS work of coordinating the entire day!

Talk About It

2011-04-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

by Scott Finlay
Director of Development & Communications

Having difficult conversations is never fun. Perhaps it is the "uncomfortable factor" of the topic. Perhaps it is the "unthinkable factor." Having these conversations with other adults is hard enough, but having them with our children is sometimes so difficult that it is neglected altogether, often at the expense of the child's safety and well-being. When the conversations DO happen, they can be so vague that the child doesn't fully grasp what the parent or guardian is trying to say exactly.

Dr. Mary L. Pulido has written a fine article for the Huffington Post about the necessity of parents having these conversations. She was moved to write this as a result of the recent flurry of authors, actors and political figures who have gone public with their abuse.

Take time to READ THE ARTICLE and take time to have the conversation with your kids. It can make all the difference.

"All That Is Bitter and Sweet" -

2011-04-19T21:40:00.000-07:00

by Scott Finlay
Director of Development & Communications.

Stories of abuse catch my eye. Before coming to work at the Denver Children's Advocacy Center, I was conscious of stories of abuse. I passively took note. But since taking this position, I'm struck by the sheer number of stories of abuse that come to light on virtually a daily basis.

Recently Ashley Judd (one of my favorite actors) released a book about her own personal struggle as a victim of neglect and childhood sexual abuse. She shares that she "looked really good on the outside," but that inside she was broken and crumbling under the pressure. She suffered from depression, insomnia and struggled with suicide.

While she emphatically states that her book is "honest" for her, she has also stated that it is not necessarily "accurate."' I was fascinated by this admission on her part, but the seemingly enigmatic contrast was addressed VERY WELL in an article at Salon.com by Mary Elizabeth Williams. I encourage you to check it out. She points out that, "The tricky truth is that life is not always clear-cut. What may well have been just another rollicking Saturday night for the elder Judds may have been torment for its youngest family member. Likewise, you might look back on a teenage experience as coercion, while another might call it abuse -- and you might well both be correct. Time and memory and the other experiences that build up along the way can change perception. They alter the story -- for all of the participants in it."

You may also want to check out the interview on the Today Show mentioned in Ms. Williams' article. You can also find an excerpt from the book by clicking here.

“Do You Live Here?”

2011-03-18T15:20:00.000-07:00

by Kim Collins
DCAC Victim Advocate

"Do you live here?" This question comes from an adorable five-year-old. It’s obvious that she feels right at home at DCAC’s 2139 building that opened one year ago today. She has me sit in a chair far too small for me, grabs a book from the shelf and asks me to read it to her. Another little girl, whom she doesn’t know, is playing nearby. She invites her to join us. They sit side by side as I read through Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. It’s difficult to believe that just prior to our sharing this story-time together, she was being interviewed by one of our trained forensic interviewers. During that interview, she was able to share about some of the trauma she experienced. Now we sit together, giggling at the picture of the pancakes falling from the sky and sharing the fun with the other child. This is a healing moment; a way to reinforce to her that she is still a child, despite having gone through bad experiences.

As I keep the child preoccupied, I notice the parents have begun to relax and started to process the crisis they have just been through as a family. Members of the multi-disciplinary team have been in the observation rooms discussing next steps. They speak with the parents privately in adjoining rooms and then let them know they can leave. The family gathers their belongings and I escort them to the door. The little girl turns back around and runs to give me the biggest hug ever. That’s when I pause to think about how this facility provides not only a child-friendly space for investigations, but also serves as the starting point of the healing process.

We constantly get compliments on the house from clients and professionals that come to visit. I sometimes wish I could further explain that there is reasoning behind EVERYTHING being the way it is. For instance, couches and chairs provide a level of comfort for families that have to wait nervously (sometimes for hours) through multiple interviews. The lobby is set up to facilitate detectives, social workers, and victim advocates to speak with the parents privately while still being able to keep a watchful eye on the children. The interview rooms are plain, to minimize distraction while interviewing the child. The observation rooms allow multiple cases to be investigated simultaneously, with privacy and space for the professionals. The kitchen gives us community space to eat lunch together and support each other in the work we do. Those examples don’t even scratch the surface of the thought and attention to detail that went into developing this house to be a secure, comfortable place for people to be at during difficult times.

Beyond the facility being a place for the clients, it also better serves the needs of DCAC staff, law enforcement, social services, and community members who all fully utilize the space. The beautiful old Victorian is used for board meetings, multi-disciplinary team case reviews, and meetings of other outside groups. I consider it a privilege to observe and contribute to some of the decisions, case planning, and dialogue that occurs between these walls.

The reality of vicarious trauma experienced by professionals is serious. Working in such a beautiful and healthy environment meets the essential needs of professionals. Having the entire DCAC staff together on the same campus is also a big “plus” by promoting unity, teamwork, and support for each other in our diverse programs. Together with our supporters, we have created a “kids campus,” and there is no greater joy than to see those children running around the space crafted with them in mind.

2139 House Before Renovation

DCAC relies heavily on private funding through donations. I have had the pleasure of meeting many donors and am always impressed at the diversity backgrounds of people and companies that are passionate about supporting children and families through gifts to our agency.I have much respect for donors because of their willingness to donate to an organization that is required to keep confidentiality of the cases. They don’t get to actually see the families in crisis, hear the stories of the children being interviewed, or participate with the team making important and often times lifesaving decisions. Specifically in reference to donating towards 2139 house, people were asked to give to help build something tangible, a house! I would like to convey my appreciation and respect for all who gave generously toward that end to support DCAC. I am honored to see the intangible rewards happening every day because of this facility. I’ve gotten to see families reconcile, children smile because their secret is out and now they are safe, and team members debriefing and supporting each other after a long day. The building is not just another pretty place; it’s a carefully crafted space that facilitates the healing process in support of our mission to

“Prevent Abuse – Strengthen Families - Restore Childhood.”

Suffering in Silence with Music All Around

2011-03-09T15:46:00.000-08:00

They look like the cast from the latest hip reality show. Young, fresh-faced and full of life. Their unique career as a "Piano Quintet" has truly taken off. They were featured on CBS's 60 Minutes when they were all five accepted into the renowned program at Juilliard. Since then, they have been traveling the country, performing their 'trademark' music: a variety of classical piano pieces combined with a dash of more contemporary hits such as John Williams' music from "Star Wars" and Bernard Herrmann's score from "Vertigo" and "Psycho."

No one ever guessed that behind the smiles and music lurked an evil secret that the group had been hiding for nearly 20 years. How does this happen? No matter how many times we hear about it in our communities or see it reported on the news, we still cannot get our brains wrapped around the reality that abuse is not a respecter of color, creed nor economic standing. Perhaps it's our need for "safety" that keeps us from fully addressing the reality of the situation. Perhaps it's the fact that the truth is so seldom spoken aloud.

This is a portion of the blog posting by Melody Brown from The 5 Browns webpage on January 26, 2011:

"Ok, so let me explain. See, New Years is sort of a tradition in our family. Every year we get together for a late dinner (the highlight of the night) at some nice "out of the ordinary" restaurant and then choose to either spend midnight elsewhere or continue to hang out, play games and whatever. This year none of us had other commitments, so we all just hung out watching the ball drop....We laugh, joke and just chill. At midnight, we'll usually rush to pop open a few of our favorite Martinelli's drinks, toast to a hopeful year and steal kisses from our spouses. And, like every year, you think over the previous one...the good and bad. You wonder if this New Year will bring better good and less bad. Sometimes it can be bittersweet."

"Bittersweet," indeed. Just twenty-three days later, Melody's father would turn himself in to authorities in Provo, Utah and plead guildty to sodomy on a child and two counts of sex abuse of a child. Keith Brown's ongoing attacks against his daughters began back in 1990 and continued until 1998. All of the girls were 13 or younger when the attacks occurred. Desirae is now 32, Deondra is 30 and Melody is 26.

Although Mr. Brown (who was formerly The 5 Browns' manager) turned himself in and confessed, it was his daughters who disclosed the abuse out of concern for the welfare and protection of other young women and girls. They also wanted their father to take resonsibility for his actions and sought a punishment that was suitable to the crimes committed against them. Keith Brown is scheduled for sentencing on March 31.

For 20 years, these kids have carried this burden. In the midst of making such beautiful music, they suffered in silence. DCAC works each and every day to "Restore Childhood" for victims of crimes similar to those endured by the Brown daughters, giving voice to their song of hope and healing.

DCAC's Prevention Program Comes to Life with Puppet Master

2011-03-03T11:06:00.000-08:00

Most folks who know DCAC know Mark Hellerstein as our fantastic board president, and that he is! But ask any 3-9 year old child in our “Denver Safe from the Start” prevention program, and he is the life behind their favorite talking bookworm, Winston!

Mark’s passion extends from the board room into Denver classrooms where his professional ventriloquism brings “Winston” worm, the bookworm to life. In 2010 Mark spent almost 40 hours at head start sites and elementary schools awing 900 young children. His performances introduce and conclude the eight week long “Denver Safe from the Start” prevention program in DPS Elementary schools and Head Start programs. Mark and Winston present important safety concepts that teach children to keep their bodies safe. Songs and jokes keep the children on their toes and every audience captivated!

Angela Davidson, DCAC director of prevention and education remembers being at CMS Community school last spring. A first grade student came into the library for the puppet show. When he saw Winston and his book, he got really excited and exclaimed, “I remember that book! It’s about safety!” He must have been a student in the ECE class when DCAC did Denver Safe from the Start in years past and still remembered a key part of the puppet show!

“Seeing how kids respond to Mark is very rewarding, how they retain information he provides reminds us why believe prevention is so important for young children. He volunteers his time and we really value his generosity to our program” said Angela.

Mark & Winston

“Denver Safe from the Start” is our highly successful sexual abuse prevention program. Last year DCAC was awarded a federal grant from the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention that expanded the program into several DPS elementary schools. The program teaches children between three and nine years old safety rules about their bodies, who they can talk to if they have a problem, and that abuse is never a child’s fault. Mark is an essential part of the prevention team and we are so grateful for all that he does! Executive Director Gizane Indart commented on Mark’s important involvement,

“Every year, through Denver Safe from the Start, DCAC is able to reach hundreds of students, and many parents and teachers. The success of this program relies heavily on the skills, talents, and generosity of Mark Hellerstein. We, at DCAC, are forever grateful to his invaluable contribution.”

Thank you, Mark! For all the many ways that you champion the cause of children!

The End of Innocence

2011-02-25T16:10:00.000-08:00

5280 Magazine recounts the tragic circumstances surrounding the Children's Center at Park Hill United Methodist Church and the role that DCAC played in that investigation....

CLICK HERE to read the whole story.

A DCAC Volunteer Shares Her Story of Joy and Hope

2011-02-01T07:58:00.000-08:00

My name is Melanie Brown, and I attend Colby College in Waterville, Maine. I’m currently in my sophomore year and I plan to double major in Psychology and English. Colby has a period in-between semesters known as JanPlan, during which students may pursue a month of study on campus or travel elsewhere for internship or volunteer opportunities. I chose to return to my hometown in Colorado and spend my January at the DCAC.

I chose the DCAC because I love working with children, and I hope to one day enter a career that can match my love of kids with my passion for mental health. However, as my start date approached, I began to feel a little nervous. After all, the kids who come into the center are often deeply traumatized. They suffer from the incredible violence they’ve witnessed or the horrific abuse they’ve sustained. What would these kids be like? What was I going to see? I imagined I would say the wrong thing to a child and cause a massive breakdown. I imagined kids crying as they came in and crying as they left. I imagined waiting rooms full of lost-looking mothers twisting tissues, quiet fathers with their heads down and backs bowed. I imagined a place full of children and adults completely disengaged from normality and reality, frozen in time and adrift in unknown waters.

Luckily, my first few hours at the DCAC convinced me of how very wrong I had been. To my infinite surprise, the little girls that came in for therapy wanted me to read the same princess books I remembered loving as a child. The boys wanted to build Lego towers and then break them to pieces in completely normal, boy-like glee. Brothers tugged their sisters’ braids, sisters colored pink markers on the backs of their brothers’ necks. These kids were totally kid-like, showing the same joyous enthusiasm for snack time as any other child, the same stubborn disobedience of their parents’ orders.

I was shocked. Where was the crying, the somber hush, the whispering and heavy sighing? Where were the signs of trauma and pain that I expected to be so evident in every child and family member that came for help? Getting to play and laugh with kids in such completely normal ways became my favorite part of working at the DCAC. I was inspired every day by the remarkable resiliency of children, by their incredible ability to overcome profound trauma.

That is not to say that I didn’t feel, at times, the weight of reality. Sometimes parents would call crying. Sometimes a child would throw a fit with unexpected hysterics. But ultimately, kids want to get better, and in the safe, nurturing home of the DCAC, kids will get better. Kids are tough. They have within them a joy that is irrepressible, even when up against some of life’s most staggering tragedies.

One of my favorite moments came after playing with a little girl while her mom was meeting with one of our therapists. We played with plastic animals and decided to put the lion away in a cage and feed him only lettuce so that he would become a vegetarian and never want to eat anyone again (it worked). When her mom returned, the little girl didn’t want to go. She didn’t fuss or throw a fit, but she made it clear that she and I were playing farm and that mom would just have to wait. She felt comfortable at the DCAC, and she simply wanted to be a kid again. In that moment, her trauma was not a factor; the only important thing was that all the animals had places to sleep, and that the lion had his carrots for dinner.

I encourage anyone who is thinking of volunteering at the DCAC to do so. The time I spent there was so valuable, and illuminated for me how remarkably hopeful a place like this can be. The work that the DCAC does is so crucial for these kids, and your time is invaluable in helping us provide hope and restore childhood.

You may click HERE to go directly to a Volunteer Application Form!

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow...

2011-01-28T07:55:00.000-08:00

Letter & Art from a Student to Virginia

We're losing a member of our family today. Virginia Vargas will be leaving us to return to her hometown of Houston, TX. Virginia (or VA, as I like to call her) has been a ray of sunshine for us all here at DCAC. I asked her to share with us some of her thoughts about DCAC and the work she did here in our "Safe From the Start" Prevention Program.

"From the moment I walked into Denver Children’s Advocacy Center for my first interview, my heart jumped with excitement. Prior to that day, I had researched DCAC, its staff and affiliation with other agencies. I felt really passionate about their work, mission and vision. I knew that being a part of their team would be an honor and privilege. However, little did I know that my experience would be as profound as it has been.

Virginia and DCAC Board Chair, Mark Hellerstein and "Winston the Worm" working with a group of school children.

I’ve had the honor to work with experienced, passionate people who give their all for the hope of providing healing and change in their community. The prevention specialist position has refined my skills and confidence in what I offer to a team. Along with several DCAC trainings, it also strengthened my passion for children and desire to advance my career in counseling.

As I leave this wonderful team, I take with me friendships and memories I’ll cherish forever. Thank you DCAC for the letting me be part of your team and allowing me to contribute to the prevention of child abuse.

Virginia L. Vargas

Bilingual Prevention Specialist

We will miss you, VA....Godspeed.

Now I’m a “Belieber”….

2011-01-25T15:01:00.000-08:00

Becca Jude & Mr. Bieber

I consider myself to be a fairly savvy social media guy. I know how quickly word can get out via these outlets. Just yesterday, there was a rumor circulating the internet that Bill Cosby had died.

As of Monday afternoon, "Bill Cosby died" was the No. 1 trending topic on Twitter, and "is Bill Cosby dead" was the No. 2 "hot topic" on Google Trends, which tracks terms entered into the search engine.

Well, I’m happy to report that Mr. Cosby is, in fact, alive and well. Ironically, he countered the rumors using the exact same technology that spread them in the first place…he “tweeted” to all of his followers and fans that he’s alive and kicking.

I’m re-reading Malcolm Gladwell’s, The Tipping Point right now. The book was first published in 2000, prior to the meteoric rise in popularity of FaceBook & Twitter. Reading it now, I cannot help but think that there is no better example of how the entire concept of a “tipping point” works than with FaceBook and Twitter. This became ABUNDANTLY clear to me when I happened to run across the following story about how a college co-ed set out to raise awareness about childhood sexual abuse and wound up making a “Belieber” out of me.

Becca Jude is from New Jersey. She’s an 18 year old college Freshman at Miami University. Being addicted to Twitter (like 90% of the kids her age), she decided to turn that addiction into something positive. She decided to use it to raise money and awareness to combat child abuse. She had no idea how big of an impact she was going to have.

At the time, her goal was to raise $250 for Love Our Children USA (a child abuse awareness non-profit). Her plan was to donate 10 cents for every follower that she gained up to 2,500. That seemed like an awfully lofty goal. The average Twitter user has about 126 followers. Getting just 250 followers would be a huge accomplishment….2,500 is practically unheard of for an individual who isn’t a celebrity of some sort.

Well, here’s where the “tipping point” comes in. She started by tweeting statistics and facts about child abuse, which she would link to LOC’s website. A few days after she started tweeting, Justin Bieber’s mother, Pattie, retweeted Becca’s tweet to help spread the word. Thirty minutes later, Becca had already gained over 250 new followers. The next day, Justin Beiber’s road manager and a member of his crew, Ryan Good, retweeted Becca’s tweets. She was over 300! Then, Justin’s personal bodyguard joined the cause. After less than three months, Becca had reached her goal of 2,500 followers and had raised $250 for LOC. She was ecstatic….but little did she know, the best was yet to come.

The very next day, Justin Bieber himself started following Becca. I just checked Becca’s Twitter followers (#st0pchildabuse). As of today (January 25, 2011), she has 10,111 followers. Among them are Monique Coleman, Marlon Wayans, Ellen DeGeneres, Boyz II Men…and now, me. :-)

I’ve been corresponding with Becca via e-mail. She’s awfully modest about her Tweet-popularity:

“It is crazy to me that people now see me as inspiring. I never set out to be or anything like that. I just wanted to make a difference.I checked out your (DCAC’s) website. I think it is amazing and it seems like you guys do so much to help victims and to try and spread awareness. I would definitely love to help out in any way that I can :) I am one person, an 18 year old, and I now have close to 10,000 followers on Twitter. People tell me that they had no idea how bad of a problem child abuse is until they followed me on Twitter. It's amazing to me what an impact Twitter and other forms of communication can have.”

Thank you, Becca….and thank you, Justin….and all 10,110 others out there following Becca. Hopefully, one day, we WILL reach the “tipping point” and start “trending” the conversation about child abuse and its tragic impact and consequences.

"The Darkness Followed Me Like a Fog"

2011-01-10T08:23:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends of DCAC....

A DCAC Board Member referred me to this article this morning. As I read it, I was blown away and my heart was broken. It tells the tale of the suicide of an incredibly gifted and renown computer programmer, Bill Zeller. He was 27.

In a 4000 word essay, he shared his torment of abuse that had haunted him for 23+ years and how that torment ultimately led to his self-destruction.

All I could think about as I read the article was this: The services offered by DCAC are critical....no, IMPERATIVE, to the healing process of children who are suffering. I would like to say "thank you" to our therapists, victim advocates, prevention specialists and forensic interviewers for their tireless dedication.

It's easy sometimes to let our "daily grind" wear us down. But if Bill had only had the support that he needed so desperately when he was a child, his life may not have been such a horrible existence that forced him to take that ultimate step to end it.

I encourage you to read this. It was very difficult for me to get through, but I'm glad I did. It provided a real moment of clarity for me personally; an affirmation of the important work accomplished here.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE ARTICLE and the letter Bill left detailing his ordeal. Word of warning, it is graphic, raw and disturbing at times.

Bill Zeller

Again, thank you. You are all remarkable individuals and the hope you bring to these innocent victims is priceless.

If you are reading this article and are struggling with your own abuse issues, please reach out. Please seek help. While we treat children who are 0-17, we have access to other resources. Please don't hesitate to contact me HERE and I will get you in touch with someone who can help.

You may also call the Denver Metro Crisis Hotline at 888-885-1222.

Sincerely,
Scott Finlay
Director of Communications and Development

Finding Happiness and Hope During this Season of Giving

2010-12-23T11:51:00.000-08:00

Sonia Marines (DCAC Bi-Lingual Therapist) shared this story with me this morning and I asked that she share it with all of you as our final blog post before the Christmas holiday.

We at DCAC have been incredibly humbled by the outpouring of support and gifts for our kids this year...a year in which many are struggling financially due to the challenging economic times we are all facing. Please know that your kindness is so very appreciated. We all know the rewards of giving. The feeling in incomparable....as you will see as you read on....

"Since July 2010, I have been treating two sisters, ages 6 & 9, along with their grandmother. Their grandmother currently has custody because the girls’ biological mother was allegedly physically abusive towards the 6 yr old, who has a heart condition. Grandmother is incredibly passionate about protecting her granddaughters. She is loving and nurturing towards them. The girls report feeling happy and safe with her. The family was progressing well until October of this year when Grandmother was laid off from her job. Since then, they have been struggling financially. This created anxiety and stress for her which has also affected the girls.

This holiday season, DCAC has received many toys and clothes donations to give away for Christmas. Today the girls’ grandmother stopped by and I had her pick out gifts for her granddaughters. She was so happy and relieved that her granddaughters would have a happy Christmas with presents under the tree.

As she was searching, she came across a “Singing Cardinals” decoration that she really loved, so I asked if she wanted it for herself. Suddenly, her eyes filled with tears as she shared with me that the girls were sad because SHE would not have any gifts this Christmas. I told her that I would show the “Singing Cardinals” to the girls and ask if they wanted to give it to her as a Christmas present.
I met with the girls for their session and showed them the "Singing Cardinals." They were sooo happy that they would be able to give their grandmother a gift for Christmas. They wrapped the decoration with such love and both made cards for her, which they taped to the present.

Afterwards, they rushed over to their grandmother to show her the surprise. What I found so extraordinary about the girls was that they were not at all concerned about gifts for themselves. They were happy simply because their loving grandmother was getting a gift of her own. A real lesson for us all.

Thanks to BOMA (including KEW Realty), "We The Family" Facebook Group, and Walgreen’s, Grandma will be able to give her selfless granddaughters many many presents of their own on Christmas Day ."

--Sonia Marines

Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday Wishes to One and All from DCAC.

"I've Never Known Anyone Who Was Abused"

2010-12-17T20:10:00.000-08:00

I sat over lunch this week with a dear friend I’ve known now for a number of years. She is probably in her late 70’s and comes from an affluent area in the Denver Metro area. Because I had not seen her since taking my new position at DCAC, she wanted to know exactly what I’m doing and, more importantly, what DCAC does. As my fundraising career has primarily been in higher education and the arts, this change has been quite a departure from the familiar. I began sharing with her about exactly what the incredible staff of DCAC sees on a daily basis.* Over the course of the conversation, “Delores” continually expressed surprise, finally confessing, “Well, I have never known anyone who was abused.” Another lady sitting nearby leaned in and shared, “Yes, dear, you do. You just don’t know that you do.”

That moment was profound for all three of us. The fact is, if we have any circle of acquaintances at all, we know someone (probably MANY people) who has/have suffered abuse and violence. But what are the indicators? Our Prevention Team at DCAC educates children, caregivers, teachers and parents on abuse: signs of abuse, at-risk children, appropriate and inappropriate adult/child interaction. The truth of the matter is that a child that grows up in a secure environment with a supportive family and community has a much greater chance of success and survival. To this end, there is a direct correlation between the investments states make in health, education and social programs and the welfare of their children.

According to a non-partisan report recently released by the organization, “Every Child Matters”, children living in states that rank lowest in such investments are:

· Twice as likely to die in their first year as children in the highest ranking state.
· Three times more likely to die between the ages of 1-14.
· Nearly three times more likely to die between the ages of 15-19.
· Three times more likely to be born to a teenage mother.
· Five times more likely to have mothers who received late or no prenatal care.
· Three times more likely to live in poverty.
· Five times more likely to be uninsured.
· Eight times more likely to be incarcerated.
· Thirteen times more likely to die from abuse and neglect.
· Less likely to be protected if abused or neglected: The top state spends 12 times more to address child abuse and neglect than the bottom state.

A child living in the top states is more likely to receive medical attention when ill, to be protected from further assaults if sexually abused, to be treated for a mental illness rather than incarcerated, and to receive the special help needed to finish high school. The investment on the part of the state will either be made in the form of prevention and education or in the form of treatment and incarceration. The latter is much less expensive and, more importantly, much more productive for society and for the children.

Children born in the bottom ten states are 70% more likely to die before their first birthday than children in the top ten. In Louisiana, the infant mortality rate is more than twice as high than in the top states (Massachusetts and Vermont).

The report is truly eye-opening:

· The bottom states generally have much higher poverty rates.
· The bottom states generally have much higher proportions of minority children.
· The bottom states generally have much lower levels of educational attainment.
· The bottom states generally have a much narrower view of the role of government in addressing social issues.
· The bottom states generally tax themselves at a much lower rate, leaving inadequate revenue needed to make investments in children.
· Are states unable to invest in children because they are too poor? Or are they poor because they fail to invest?

At DCAC, we do what we can to stem the tide of abuse and neglect. Our “Access to Health Program” offers assistance to uninsured families and children to help them maneuver through the Medicaid and CHP+ system, giving them critical medical care and treatment. Our “Denver Safe from the Start Program” helps to keep children in underserved and high-risk schools safe from violence in their homes and communities. Our “Forensic Interview” team is highly trained to find the truth through careful questioning of victims in a child-centric and sensitive manner. And finally, our “Assessment and Treatment” team allows the healing to begin, “restoring childhood” for the innocent victims who walk through our doors each and every day.

Mississippi and Louisiana rank 49^th and 50^threspectively while Massachusetts and Vermont are numbers one and two. And if you’re wondering, Colorado ranks 27^th on the chart. Where we go from here…up or down…will be decided in the weeks and months to come. What priority will we place on the health and well-being of our children?

*Of course, no inappropriate information is ever divulged regarding clients of DCAC with anyone. As Director of Development, I am not privy to any confidential information shared between clients and therapists, victim advocates or interviewers. Stories that are shared have already been made public and are done so anonymously, only after all legal proceedings have been concluded.

**FACTS AND FIGURES ARE TAKEN FROM EVERY CHILD MATTERS..

Unwanted

2010-12-14T09:26:00.000-08:00

Denver's 5280 magazine recently ran an article on child abuse and how it impacts our community, including our overwhelmed foster care system here in Colorado. The stories of Shawn Larson and Erika Righter are, unfortunately, far too commonplace. I've taken the liberty to start the story here for you.

From 5280 Magazine...

As the Colorado Legislature continues to slash budgets, the state’s foster care system remains chronically underfunded. Something’s got to give, right? The thing is, if we don’t pay now, as the kids grow up, it could continue to cost us all a whole lot more than money. Just ask Erika Righter and Shawn Larson.

Click for the link if you'd like to read on....

Scott Finlay
Director of Development & Communications
Denver Children's Advocacy Center

Low Risk vs High Risk

2010-12-06T19:44:00.000-08:00

This week, Jessica Siekmeier (DCAC Prevention Specialist) takes up the pen to talk with us about risk and how to spot children that may be at higher risk than others and to share a bit about our Prevention Program.

When is a child at highest risk? When is a child at lowest risk?

At DCAC we would gladly close our doors if it meant that there was no longer a need for our services because child abuse did not exist. In the DCAC Prevention Program we’re working to put ourselves out of business! The fewer children that walk through our doors the better if it means that they are no longer in harm’s way. In the meantime, we will continue to help families and comm,unities protect all children from abuse.

Children from all economic, social, racial, religious, and ethnic groups are at risk for childhood sexual abuse, but certain factors make it more likely that a child may be abused while other factors reduce the chances that it will. Protect your child and all children from sexual abuse by understanding these risks.

Kids are at high risk when. . .

. . .they don’t have strong relationships with their families

. . .they don't have strong relationships at school or with friends

. . .they suffer from mental illness

. . .they use or abuse substances

. . .they associate with sexually aggressive peers

Families are at high risk when. . .

. . .there is a lack of strong family relationships

. . .there is violence or other types of abuse in the home

Communities are at high risk when. . .

. . . there is systematic or institutional oppression

. . .there is a general tolerance of sexual violence in the community

. . .the media and social norms are supportive of sexual violence

. . .there are weak laws and policies against sexual violence

What factors reduce the likelihood that a child will be sexually abused?

Kids are at low risk when. . .

. . .they have strong family relationships and community ties

. . .they have opportunities to learn and have social interaction

. . .they have positive and supportive parenting

. . .they have access to resources

Families are at low risk when. . .

. . .the family members have close relationships with one another

. . .men and women play equal roles in the family

. . .the children do not witness violence in the home

. . .the family is connected to the community

Communities keep families and children safe from abuse when. . .

. . .everyone fights against childhood sexual abuse

. . .they have positive youth development

. . .there is communication and collaboration between ethnic groups

. . .community members have access to the resources that they need

Source: Sexual Abuse Prevention Fund 2007 Implementation Manual

Thanks, Jessica, for these helpful insights into abuse prevention and risk identification. If you have questions regarding these facts or other indicators of abuse, please contact DCAC at info@DenverCAC.org.

Jessica Siekmeier, Prevention Specialist
Jessica joined DCAC in 2010 to work with at-risk children and families in the Denver Safe from the Start program. Jessica graduated from Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan, with a degree in Spanish, Journalism and International Development. As part of her studies, she spent six months abroad living with a Honduran family. Since then, Jessica has worked as a field interviewer for social ministry in a network of Grand Rapids congregations, and as a family educator and advocate with the Healthy Homes Coalition of West Michigan to help inner city families prevent lead poisoning. Jessica has recently returned from Ecuador where she served as the liaison between medical staff and patients in a rural hospital.

A Story of Hope and Restoration

2010-11-30T21:02:00.000-08:00

Michele Odell

I have asked Michele O’Dell, Associate Pastor at Applewood Valley United Methodist Church in Golden, Colorado, to share her story with you in this week’s blog.

“God is filled with love and forgiveness for us. He takes us back into his arms over and over again. This untiring, unconditional love we receive when we turn to him is called “justifying grace.” God’s love helps us turn back when we have turned away: sometimes we have turned away on our own accord and sometimes we turn away in shame or anger.

I have done a lot of “turning back” in my lifetime. My father showed me the very face of evil each and every time he abused me from infancy through college: physically, sexually and mentally. Over and over again, he took me and turned me toward evil and all of its horror. And over and over again, I had to turn back to the face of goodness and forgiveness.

My father mostly abused me in the early morning in my bedroom or downstairs in his workroom in the basement. Every time he defiled and dishonored me, I would retreat and hide in my closet. I would run up to my room, open my closet door, sit on top of my toys, close the door and lose myself until the pain and numbness left; until a sense of myself returned.

My closet is where I found God as a child. Its where I turned back to God. My closet is where I could come back “home” and be restored. Unlike the story of the “prodigal son,” I had not chosen to turn away from God. My father had made that decision for me. But I had to consciously turn back to him over and over again. I would start my speech by saying, “God, I’m sorry for all of this. I’m sorry for all this sin. I know it is not right, but I can’t stop it.” You see, my father had convinced me it was all my fault. If I hadn’t been so “bad,” he wouldn’t have to do these things to me. I was confused and riddled with guilt. While God wept with me as I was taken into places no living creature should ever have to go, he also rejoiced with me on my return. He brought me not only a clean set of clothes, but a clean set of skin – one untouched and undefiled. He took me in his arms and said, “You are mine and you will feast with me.”

God’s justifying grace took me in every time I went to my closet. And there, I found love and healing and forgiveness for myself. The journey was often dark and difficult and I struggled…but I did find that love and I know that there is always “hope”…even in our darkest hour in our lonely closet, there is “hope.”

I'd like to thank Michele for graciously sharing her story with us. Each day, DCAC serves as that "hope" for the journey toward healing...."hope" for a life free of violence and abuse as we continue "restoring childhood."

“Nobody Offered Any Help 15 Years Ago...”

2010-11-27T06:23:00.000-08:00

That’s what the Stillman twins stated during a recent interview with The Denver Post. They described a childhood filled with child sexual abuse and terror in the hands of the same people who were supposed to care for them. You can read the whole story here.

Sexual abuse continues to be the most commonly under-reported crime against children. Sadly enough, the Stillman twins are not alone. It is estimated that by each case of child sexual abuse that IS reported, 3 cases are NOT reported. Additionally, it is estimated that 1 out of 4 girls will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday and that 1 out of every 6 boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday.

DCAC provides a continuum of care for victims of child sexual abuse. Every day, at DCAC, we help children learn to laugh, play and be kids again. Please join us in the fight against child abuse and neglect. Help us to continue to be the ones who can "offer help" to the innocent victims of childhood sexual abuse. With your help, we can do it. Visit our website to learn more about our programs.

Dr. Gizane Indart - Executive Director

The Real Monsters

2010-11-19T19:44:00.000-08:00

I only recently started as Director of Development and Communications at DCAC. And I must admit that my prior experience as a fundraiser was for arts organizations....quite a different mission and case. So, obviously, I've been schooling myself on the subject of child abuse and neglect in order to get my arms wrapped around the mission of DCAC to "Prevent Abuse - Strengthen Families - Restore Childhood." As a relative outsider, I have been astounded by the unimaginable crimes that adults are capable of committing against innocent children.

It has been a couple of weeks since Halloween, but I have been thinking about how the REAL monsters out there are people....they look just like you and me....and they have an uncanny way of luring their prey (young boys and girls) into their trap. The results are no less frightening than the worst horror movie you can think of.

Through my research, I recently learned that Tom Arnold (of "Roseanne" fame) had been sexually abused from the time he was four until he was seven by his twenty-something male babysitter. Mr. Arnold came out with this story when he was making the movie, "Gardens of the Night" a grim story about child predators and abuse. Making the movie was somewhat therapeutic for him. He agreed to take on the role because of his own abuse...because he wanted to actually portray his abuser. He insisted on his costumes being similar to what his babysitter wore. He wanted to authentically play a pedophile in order to convey to audiences the reality of abuse and how quickly and easily it can happen. When he was 30, Mr. Arnold confronted his abuser as part of his rehabilitation. The man was a church leader, the owner of his own company and was about to adopt his fourth child. The confrontation was liberating for Arnold. Although authorities told him that there was nothing they could do about his accusations regarding his own abuse, he brought enough light to the situation to prevent the pending adoption from going through.

"Gardens of the Night" represents the worst case scenario of abuse...it is, unfortunately, not an uncommon scenario. The children in the movie grow up to become drug addicts, prostituting themselves, bathing in gas station bathrooms and generally living a tortured life. The observer is forced to ask, "What might have been?" And more importantly, "What IS going on NOW?"

We see the pictures of faces posted on the walls every time we leave a Wal-Mart or a Sam's Club. Most often, I know I breeze on by....scarcely thinking about the reality. The fact is that the depravity of "Gardens of the Night" IS real. Who knows how many of those faces are children who are living a similar reality? Those are the MOST horrifying kinds of stories.

Thankfully, there is hope. Daily, DCAC serves the victims of these monsters...the "hero" who manages to save the day. Of course, it's not that simple...we can't really "save the day." But little by little, we will continue "restoring childhood" and attempting to put an end to this devastating epidemic. And hopefully one day "Gardens of the Night" will be a work of fiction.

Scott Finlay - Director of Development & Communications

"He Stole My Soul...."

2010-11-11T08:59:00.000-08:00

....that's how one man described his childhood sexual abuse. "Bill" was one of 200 men who appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show on November 5 to talk about the violence they faced on a regular basis when they were just boys. The show was graphic....it was heartbreaking....it was hopeful. Each man held a large photograph of himself taken around the time the violence started. All those men in a sea of faces....the faces of little boys. It was powerful. For most of them, no one was there to help. No one was there to "restore their childhood".

We know the numbers. 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused by his 18th birthday. We know that the rate of sexual abuse is probably drastically under-reported. We know that boys face a very different paradigm than girls...that they are supposed to be strong....they are not supposed to be vulnerable....they are not supposed to be victims.

But those statistics start to wash over us after a while. For many, they just become numbers; especially for those who do not work in this field. It's easy to let the "numbers" overwhelm us to the point that they don't really represent actual people. This show made it real. Names....faces.....stories.... The victims shared about how they were "groomed" for the abuse. They shared about the shame they felt....about how they were profoundly affected and how it still haunts them today.

That's why DCAC is here. We try each and every day to do what we can to "Prevent Abuse - Strengthen Families - Restore Childhood." The "numbers" are real....our team members see the real faces and hear the real stories behind the "numbers" everyday.

Part two of the show will air on Friday. I encourage you to watch.

If you missed last Friday's episode....click here....you can watch the whole thing.

Scott Finlay - Director of Development & Communications

"What Keeps You Going After So Many Years?" ...

2010-04-15T12:50:00.001-07:00

... I get that a lot. People often ask me how I can keep going after so many years of working with children and adolescents who are victims of sexual abuse and other crimes against children. I can honestly say that it is THEIR insurmountable strength under adversity that inspires me to go on.

I am working with a 13 year old girl who has been repeatedly sexually abused by her stepfather. The violence started when she was 9 years old, and took place almost every night while her mother was out of the home working.

Two weeks ago, she told me that she got an award at the middle-school she is currently attending for having the highest GPA.....not only in her classroom, but in her entire school!! I almost fell off my chair!!

I praised her for this most incredible accomplishment. She listened to me and then simply said “ I am in charge of my life and my decisions. He is not and will never be." THAT is what keeps me going.

~Gizane Indart
Executive Director

April Kicks Off National Child Abuse Awareness Month

2010-04-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

April kicks off National Child Abuse Awareness Month! Please visit http://www.denvercac.org/ for more information and to show your support through a contribution.