Suffering in Silence with Music All Around

They look like the cast from the latest hip reality show.  Young, fresh-faced and full of life.  Their unique career as a "Piano Quintet" has truly taken off.  They were featured on CBS's 60 Minutes when they were all five accepted into the renowned program at Juilliard.  Since then, they have been traveling the country, performing their 'trademark' music: a variety of classical piano pieces combined with a dash of more contemporary hits such as John Williams' music from "Star Wars" and Bernard Herrmann's score from "Vertigo" and "Psycho."

No one ever guessed that behind the smiles and music lurked an evil secret that the group had been hiding for nearly 20 years.  How does this happen?  No matter how many times we hear about it in our communities or see it reported on the news, we still cannot get our brains wrapped around the reality that abuse is not a respecter of color, creed nor economic standing.  Perhaps it's our need for "safety" that keeps us from fully addressing the reality of the situation.  Perhaps it's the fact that the truth is so seldom spoken aloud.

This is a portion of the blog posting by Melody Brown from The 5 Browns webpage on January 26, 2011:

"Ok, so let me explain.  See, New Years is sort of a tradition in our family.  Every year we get together for a late dinner (the highlight of the night) at some nice "out of the ordinary" restaurant and then choose to either spend midnight elsewhere or continue to hang out, play games and whatever.  This year none of us had other commitments, so we all just hung out watching the ball drop....We laugh, joke and just chill.  At midnight, we'll usually rush to pop open a few of our favorite Martinelli's drinks, toast to a hopeful year and steal kisses from our spouses.  And, like every year, you think over the previous one...the good and bad.  You wonder if this New Year will bring better good and less bad.  Sometimes it can be bittersweet." 

"Bittersweet," indeed.  Just twenty-three days later, Melody's father would turn himself in to authorities in Provo, Utah and plead guildty to sodomy on a child and two counts of sex abuse of a child.  Keith Brown's ongoing attacks against his daughters began back in 1990 and continued until 1998.  All of the girls were 13 or younger when the attacks occurred.  Desirae is now 32, Deondra is 30 and Melody is 26.

Although Mr. Brown (who was formerly The 5 Browns' manager) turned himself in and confessed, it was his daughters who disclosed the abuse out of concern for the welfare and protection of other young women and girls.  They also wanted their father to take resonsibility for his actions and sought a punishment that was suitable to the crimes committed against them.  Keith Brown is scheduled for sentencing on March 31.

For 20 years, these kids have carried this burden.  In the midst of making such beautiful music, they suffered in silence.  DCAC works each and every day to "Restore Childhood" for victims of crimes similar to those endured by the Brown daughters, giving voice to their song of hope and healing.

DCAC's Prevention Program Comes to Life with Puppet Master

Most folks who know DCAC know Mark Hellerstein as our fantastic board president, and that he is! But ask any 3-9 year old child in our “Denver Safe from the Start” prevention program, and he is the life behind their favorite talking bookworm, Winston!

Mark’s passion extends from the board room into Denver classrooms where his professional ventriloquism brings “Winston” worm, the bookworm to life. In 2010 Mark spent almost 40 hours at head start sites and elementary schools awing 900 young children. His performances introduce and conclude the eight week long “Denver Safe from the Start” prevention program in DPS Elementary schools and Head Start programs. Mark and Winston present important safety concepts that teach children to keep their bodies safe. Songs and jokes keep the children on their toes and every audience captivated!

Angela Davidson, DCAC director of prevention and education remembers being at CMS Community school last spring. A first grade student came into the library for the puppet show. When he saw Winston and his book, he got really excited and exclaimed, “I remember that book! It’s about safety!” He must have been a student in the ECE class when DCAC did Denver Safe from the Start in years past and still remembered a key part of the puppet show!

“Seeing how kids respond to Mark is very rewarding, how they retain information he provides reminds us why believe prevention is so important for young children. He volunteers his time and we really value his generosity to our program” said Angela.

Mark & Winston

“Denver Safe from the Start” is our highly successful sexual abuse prevention program. Last year DCAC was awarded a federal grant from the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention that expanded the program into several DPS elementary schools. The program teaches children between three and nine years old safety rules about their bodies, who they can talk to if they have a problem, and that abuse is never a child’s fault. Mark is an essential part of the prevention team and we are so grateful for all that he does! Executive Director Gizane Indart commented on Mark’s important involvement,

“Every year, through Denver Safe from the Start, DCAC is able to reach hundreds of students, and many parents and teachers. The success of this program relies heavily on the skills, talents, and generosity of Mark Hellerstein. We, at DCAC, are forever grateful to his invaluable contribution.”

Thank you, Mark! For all the many ways that you champion the cause of children!

The End of Innocence

5280 Magazine recounts the tragic circumstances surrounding the Children's Center at Park Hill United Methodist Church and the role that DCAC played in that investigation....

CLICK HERE to read the whole story.

A DCAC Volunteer Shares Her Story of Joy and Hope

My name is Melanie Brown, and I attend Colby College in Waterville, Maine. I’m currently in my sophomore year and I plan to double major in Psychology and English. Colby has a period in-between semesters known as JanPlan, during which students may pursue a month of study on campus or travel elsewhere for internship or volunteer opportunities. I chose to return to my hometown in Colorado and spend my January at the DCAC.


I chose the DCAC because I love working with children, and I hope to one day enter a career that can match my love of kids with my passion for mental health. However, as my start date approached, I began to feel a little nervous. After all, the kids who come into the center are often deeply traumatized. They suffer from the incredible violence they’ve witnessed or the horrific abuse they’ve sustained. What would these kids be like? What was I going to see? I imagined I would say the wrong thing to a child and cause a massive breakdown. I imagined kids crying as they came in and crying as they left. I imagined waiting rooms full of lost-looking mothers twisting tissues, quiet fathers with their heads down and backs bowed. I imagined a place full of children and adults completely disengaged from normality and reality, frozen in time and adrift in unknown waters.

Luckily, my first few hours at the DCAC convinced me of how very wrong I had been. To my infinite surprise, the little girls that came in for therapy wanted me to read the same princess books I remembered loving as a child. The boys wanted to build Lego towers and then break them to pieces in completely normal, boy-like glee. Brothers tugged their sisters’ braids, sisters colored pink markers on the backs of their brothers’ necks. These kids were totally kid-like, showing the same joyous enthusiasm for snack time as any other child, the same stubborn disobedience of their parents’ orders.

I was shocked. Where was the crying, the somber hush, the whispering and heavy sighing? Where were the signs of trauma and pain that I expected to be so evident in every child and family member that came for help? Getting to play and laugh with kids in such completely normal ways became my favorite part of working at the DCAC. I was inspired every day by the remarkable resiliency of children, by their incredible ability to overcome profound trauma.

That is not to say that I didn’t feel, at times, the weight of reality. Sometimes parents would call crying. Sometimes a child would throw a fit with unexpected hysterics. But ultimately, kids want to get better, and in the safe, nurturing home of the DCAC, kids will get better. Kids are tough. They have within them a joy that is irrepressible, even when up against some of life’s most staggering tragedies.

One of my favorite moments came after playing with a little girl while her mom was meeting with one of our therapists. We played with plastic animals and decided to put the lion away in a cage and feed him only lettuce so that he would become a vegetarian and never want to eat anyone again (it worked). When her mom returned, the little girl didn’t want to go. She didn’t fuss or throw a fit, but she made it clear that she and I were playing farm and that mom would just have to wait. She felt comfortable at the DCAC, and she simply wanted to be a kid again. In that moment, her trauma was not a factor; the only important thing was that all the animals had places to sleep, and that the lion had his carrots for dinner.

I encourage anyone who is thinking of volunteering at the DCAC to do so. The time I spent there was so valuable, and illuminated for me how remarkably hopeful a place like this can be. The work that the DCAC does is so crucial for these kids, and your time is invaluable in helping us provide hope and restore childhood.

You may click HERE to go directly to a Volunteer Application Form!

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow...

Letter & Art from a Student to Virginia

We're losing a member of our family today.  Virginia Vargas will be leaving us to return to her hometown of Houston, TX.  Virginia (or VA, as I like to call her) has been a ray of sunshine for us all here at DCAC.  I asked her to share with us some of her thoughts about DCAC and the work she did here in our "Safe From the Start" Prevention Program. 

"From the moment I walked into Denver Children’s Advocacy Center for my first interview, my heart jumped with excitement. Prior to that day, I had researched DCAC, its staff and affiliation with other agencies. I felt really passionate about their work, mission and vision. I knew that being a part of their team would be an honor and privilege. However, little did I know that my experience would be as profound as it has been.




Virginia and DCAC Board Chair, Mark Hellerstein and "Winston the Worm" working with a group of school children.



I’ve had the honor to work with experienced, passionate people who give their all for the hope of providing healing and change in their community. The prevention specialist position has refined my skills and confidence in what I offer to a team. Along with several DCAC trainings, it also strengthened my passion for children and desire to advance my career in counseling.

As I leave this wonderful team, I take with me friendships and memories I’ll cherish forever. Thank you DCAC for the letting me be part of your team and allowing me to contribute to the prevention of child abuse.

Virginia L. Vargas

Bilingual Prevention Specialist

We will miss you, VA....Godspeed.

Now I’m a “Belieber”….

Becca Jude & Mr. Bieber

I consider myself to be a fairly savvy social media guy. I know how quickly word can get out via these outlets. Just yesterday, there was a rumor circulating the internet that Bill Cosby had died.

As of Monday afternoon, "Bill Cosby died" was the No. 1 trending topic on Twitter, and "is Bill Cosby dead" was the No. 2 "hot topic" on Google Trends, which tracks terms entered into the search engine.

Well, I’m happy to report that Mr. Cosby is, in fact, alive and well. Ironically, he countered the rumors using the exact same technology that spread them in the first place…he “tweeted” to all of his followers and fans that he’s alive and kicking.

I’m re-reading Malcolm Gladwell’s, The Tipping Point right now. The book was first published in 2000, prior to the meteoric rise in popularity of FaceBook & Twitter. Reading it now, I cannot help but think that there is no better example of how the entire concept of a “tipping point” works than with FaceBook and Twitter. This became ABUNDANTLY clear to me when I happened to run across the following story about how a college co-ed set out to raise awareness about childhood sexual abuse and wound up making a “Belieber” out of me.

Becca Jude is from New Jersey. She’s an 18 year old college Freshman at Miami University. Being addicted to Twitter (like 90% of the kids her age), she decided to turn that addiction into something positive. She decided to use it to raise money and awareness to combat child abuse. She had no idea how big of an impact she was going to have.

At the time, her goal was to raise $250 for Love Our Children USA (a child abuse awareness non-profit). Her plan was to donate 10 cents for every follower that she gained up to 2,500. That seemed like an awfully lofty goal. The average Twitter user has about 126 followers. Getting just 250 followers would be a huge accomplishment….2,500 is practically unheard of for an individual who isn’t a celebrity of some sort.

Well, here’s where the “tipping point” comes in. She started by tweeting statistics and facts about child abuse, which she would link to LOC’s website. A few days after she started tweeting, Justin Bieber’s mother, Pattie, retweeted Becca’s tweet to help spread the word. Thirty minutes later, Becca had already gained over 250 new followers. The next day, Justin Beiber’s road manager and a member of his crew, Ryan Good, retweeted Becca’s tweets. She was over 300! Then, Justin’s personal bodyguard joined the cause. After less than three months, Becca had reached her goal of 2,500 followers and had raised $250 for LOC. She was ecstatic….but little did she know, the best was yet to come.

The very next day, Justin Bieber himself started following Becca. I just checked Becca’s Twitter followers (#st0pchildabuse). As of today (January 25, 2011), she has 10,111 followers. Among them are Monique Coleman, Marlon Wayans, Ellen DeGeneres, Boyz II Men…and now, me. :-)

I’ve been corresponding with Becca via e-mail. She’s awfully modest about her Tweet-popularity:

“It is crazy to me that people now see me as inspiring. I never set out to be or anything like that. I just wanted to make a difference.I checked out your (DCAC’s) website. I think it is amazing and it seems like you guys do so much to help victims and to try and spread awareness. I would definitely love to help out in any way that I can :)  I am one person, an 18 year old, and I now have close to 10,000 followers on Twitter. People tell me that they had no idea how bad of a problem child abuse is until they followed me on Twitter. It's amazing to me what an impact Twitter and other forms of communication can have.”

Thank you, Becca….and thank you, Justin….and all 10,110 others out there following Becca. Hopefully, one day, we WILL reach the “tipping point” and start “trending” the conversation about child abuse and its tragic impact and consequences.

 



 

"The Darkness Followed Me Like a Fog"

Dear Friends of DCAC....

A DCAC Board Member referred me to this article this morning.  As I read it, I was blown away and my heart was broken.  It tells the tale of the suicide of an incredibly gifted and renown computer programmer, Bill Zeller.  He was 27.  

In a 4000 word essay, he shared his torment of abuse that had haunted him for 23+ years and how that torment ultimately led to his self-destruction. 

All I could think about as I read the article was this:  The services offered by DCAC are critical....no, IMPERATIVE, to the healing process of children who are suffering.  I would like to say "thank you" to our therapists, victim advocates, prevention specialists and forensic interviewers for their tireless dedication.  

It's easy sometimes to let our "daily grind" wear us down.  But if Bill had only had the support that he needed so desperately when he was a child, his life may not have been such a horrible existence that forced him to take that ultimate step to end it. 
 
I encourage you to read this.  It was very difficult for me to get through, but I'm glad I did.  It provided a real moment of clarity for me personally; an affirmation of the important work accomplished here.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE ARTICLE and the letter Bill left detailing his ordeal.  Word of warning, it is graphic, raw and disturbing at times.

Bill Zeller

Again, thank you.  You are all remarkable individuals and the hope you bring to these innocent victims is priceless.  

If you are reading this article and are struggling with your own abuse issues, please reach out.  Please seek help.  While we treat children who are 0-17, we have access to other resources.  Please don't hesitate to contact me HERE and I will get you in touch with someone who can help.

You may also call the Denver Metro Crisis Hotline at 888-885-1222.


Sincerely,
Scott Finlay
Director of Communications and Development